How to Cope With Mother's Day When Struggling With Infertility

With Mother’s Day just around the corner in the U.S. and several other countries, it’s important to acknowledge that family-centered holidays, especially ones celebrating moms and dads, can be incredibly tough for those struggling to conceive. As the big day approaches, you might notice stores and the internet flooded with advertisements, and once it arrives, your social media feed may be filled with images of blissful families honoring their parents.

And yes, it can sting. A lot.

So... how do we navigate through Mother’s (or Father’s) Day without losing our sanity?

First and foremost, be gentle with yourself. It’s absolutely normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions – from grief and jealousy to anger. For anyone facing fertility challenges, triggers are a daily occurrence, but on these special occasions, they seem to intensify. Remember, whatever you’re feeling is valid. Don’t chastise yourself for it. Your emotions are a reflection of your own struggles, not a reflection of your character.
Struggling to celebrate your own mom or dad on this day? That’s perfectly okay. Express your feelings to them, even if it means sending a heartfelt text instead of a face-to-face conversation. Your parents care about your well-being above all else.
Mindfulness is key to navigating the day. Consider planning ahead how you’d like to spend your time, whether it’s engaging in activities that bring you joy or taking a break from social media altogether. Perhaps a serene walk in nature or indulging in an activity that would be challenging if you were pregnant or had children could offer solace. Remember, there’s no pressure to socialize if it doesn’t feel right for you.
Celebrate Mother’s (or Father’s) Day in a way that feels authentic to you - and include yourself or your partner in the celebration. Whether you’re a parent to an angel baby or envisioning parenthood in your dreams, your feelings are valid. Honor yourself, your partner, or your grief and dreams in whatever way resonates with your heart.

With that said, we know it can be a really tough time. Here are a few gentle activities from the Tilly app to help you navigate through Mother’s (or Father’s) Day – or any other trigger-filled day:

Meditation: When you get triggered
Journaling: Accepting a feeling
Guided breathing: Stress relief

Take care of yourself. You’re not alone on this journey.

Warmest wishes,

Jenny-Ann

Founder of Tilly

About the author

Jenny Ann Johnson is the founder of Tilly. She’s spent a decade working on digital educational products prior to founding Tilly. After struggling with infertility and miscarriages for many years she finally found her path forward and is today blessed with four children. She is now creating the supportive and educational tools she herself was missing while going through fertility treatments.