How infertility impacts men's mental health and ways to cope

November, also known as Movember, is dedicated to raising awareness about men’s health, encompassing both physical and mental well-being. This month, we’re taking the opportunity to explore men’s health in the context of infertility, examining how it impacts men and whether a diagnosis of male factor infertility influences their emotional experience.

How men cope with infertility: challenges, insights, and support

Infertility significantly impacts the mental well-being of people of all genders, often placing strain on relationships as well. In this article, we explore how men* cope with infertility, the unique challenges that arise from a diagnosis of male factor infertility, and how partners can provide support during this difficult time.

For men and their partners

If you’re a man reading this, we hope it provides valuable insights to help you navigate this challenging time. And if you’re a partner wondering how to best support a man going through infertility, we’ve got you covered. Many in our community have shared how their male partners struggle emotionally and mentally during infertility, and we understand how difficult it can be to know how to support both your partner and your relationship effectively.

This article explores what research reveals about how men are dealing—or (surprise!) not dealing—with the emotional and mental health impacts of infertility, or, as it turns out, simply coping in different ways. It also offers practical insights and advice drawn from research, our community, and expert clinics.

Spoiler alert: If you’re a partner reading this, you are likely your husband’s or partner’s primary source of support. While this can feel overwhelming, it also means you have the opportunity to be a gateway for your partner to explore new ways of coping with emotional challenges.

What does the science say?

Early studies on psychosocial health and infertility suggested that women were more affected than their male partners. However, recent research indicates that men are emotionally impacted at a similar level to women. That said, much of the research on the emotional and mental (“psychosocial”) aspects of infertility has traditionally focused more on women than men. This is a bit ironic given that male factor infertility is present in up to half of all couples diagnosed with infertility. As a result, there is still much to learn about how infertility impacts men’s mental health.

What we do know is that men and women (in general) tend to cope with infertility differently, often influenced by cultural gender norms around managing emotional distress and grief. Male factor infertility, in particular, seems to carry a heavier stigma than other infertility diagnoses. It’s often tied to perceptions of masculinity and male libido, which can take a toll on men’s self-esteem. Unsurprisingly, male factor infertility can also affect a couple’s sex life and emotional connection.

Common coping patterns

Does your partner seem to bury himself in work or avoid “talking about it”? You’re not alone. Studies show that many men cope with infertility by increasing their workload or focusing on other activities. They also frequently suppress their own emotions in an effort to support their partner.

It seems that in part, the stereotypical way for men to handle challenges ultimately makes it harder for men to actually process what they’re going through. Suppressing your feelings and not talking about infertility openly are traditional characteristics of masculinity - and it seems that men who do not share their infertility journey and do not seek counseling are at higher risk of anxiety and depression. Interestingly, in cultures more open about infertility and fertility treatments, men tend to be less emotionally affected and are less likely to feel their masculinity is threatened.

The role of support

It may not come as a surprise, but being open and seeking help can significantly improve men’s mental well-being. Yet, research shows that men often choose to confide only in their partners about their fertility struggles, avoiding broader discussions with friends or family. Unfortunately, men who keep their struggles entirely private are more vulnerable to depression. Men often cite their partner as their most significant source of support, with their clinic coming in second. (For women, family, friends, counseling, and support groups often play a bigger role.) 

Infertility is challenging for men, often compounded by cultural stigmas and traditional coping mechanisms that prioritize silence over expression. However, two key sources of support often stand out: the partner and the clinic.

In the sections below, we’ll share advice from trusted fertility clinics and tips from our community to help men and their partners navigate this journey together. If you’re a partner feeling uncertain about how to help, know that you’re not alone—and that your support can make a significant difference in your loved one’s ability to cope and heal.

Insights from our community

The experiences shared by our community align closely with research findings, shedding light on the emotional and relational challenges faced by couples dealing with infertility.

One member recounted, “My husband feels that he cannot tell any of his friends about our problem, especially seeing that we have male factor infertility. They have this jargon of ‘real men make children.’”

Another shared, “My partner is clearly suffering as well, but as he is not the best communicator to start with, this has grown into a real issue, and we don’t seem to be able to reach each other and talk.”

A third member expressed, “Since we know that having sex will not make any babies (verified azoospermia), it seems like our love life has died, and neither of us knows how to find our way back to intimacy and sex again.”

These stories highlight how infertility, particularly male factor infertility, can strain both individuals and relationships.

Supporting men through infertility: insights from two fertility clinics

Research highlights the critical role care providers play in reducing distress for men in infertile couples. In fact, studies show that clinics are often the second-largest source of support for men facing infertility. With this in mind, we reached out to two of our partner clinics — Wellnest Fertility in the U.S. and CMedical in Sweden — to understand what they observe in their male patients and their best practices for offering support. Both clinics actively integrate emotional care into their medical practices, and their perspectives provide valuable insights.

Personalizing care for men and couples

Dr. Ida Wikander, an senior consultant and infertility specialist at CMedical, emphasizes that every patient’s needs are unique, making personalized care essential. “It’s important to be attentive to the type of support a person or couple needs,” she says. Sarah Nelson, WHNP-BC, a Nurse Practitioner at Wellnest Fertility, echoes this sentiment, highlighting the importance of supporting both individuals and couples as they navigate their journey together.

Both professionals note the emotional toll fertility struggles take on men and women alike. While coping styles often differ — men may lean towards a problem-solving approach while women may prioritize emotional expression — the underlying challenges are significant for everyone involved.

Overcoming Gendered Challenges

A key challenge both clinics observe is the lingering misconception that infertility primarily affects women, even though male and female factors are equally common. “A diagnosis of male infertility is often unexpected and can be difficult to process,” explains Nelson.

Dr. Wikander points out that the treatment process can feel disproportionately focused on women, as they undergo most of the medical interventions, including hormone treatments and physical procedures. This can leave male partners feeling sidelined. Nelson agrees, adding, “Those providing sperm often don’t have as many appointments or procedures, which can make it harder for them to feel involved.”

To address this, both clinics make a conscious effort to involve male partners in all stages of the process. Dr. Wikander shares that encouraging men to review their lifestyle—regardless of sperm count — can foster a sense of contribution. “Improving lifestyle factors is always beneficial, and it helps men feel like they’re actively participating in the process,” she says.

Addressing Emotional Struggles

Infertility, especially when linked to a male factor, often brings feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy. Dr. Wikander notes that these emotions can be intensified by the physical burden borne by the female partner during treatment. Nelson adds that these struggles can also impact the couple’s relationship. “It’s important to address these emotions sensitively as both partners navigate infertility and potential pregnancy loss,” she says.

Both clinics acknowledge that societal expectations may compound these challenges. “Men often feel pressured to ‘stay strong,’ which can make it harder for them to express their feelings,” explains Nelson. Dr. Wikander observes that men tend to seek information and solutions rather than discussing their emotions.

Integrating Mental Health Support

To address the emotional and mental strain of infertility, both clinics have integrated mental health support into their care. CMedical conducts educational workshops for staff, equipping them with tools to provide emotional support. “We focus on training all patient-facing staff on mental wellbeing to ensure holistic care,” says Wikander.

Wellnest Fertility offers direct psychological support to patients, including counseling and group resources specifically for men. “We’ve partnered with mental health therapists and tools like Tilly to ensure comprehensive support,” shares Nelson.

Final Thoughts

So it seems clear that infertility is a deeply challenging experience for men and women but that we to some extent might cope in different ways. By bringing in the support from resources around us, our partner, our clinic, friends and family, as well as mental health professionals we can make it a little bit less straining and lonely. 

A special thanks to Sarah Nelson of Wellnest Fertility and Dr. Ida Wikander, of CMedical for sharing your valuable insights and best practices. And as always, thanks to our community for your contribution.

*Disclaimer: Please note. We know that gender and relationship dynamics can differ based on the identities of the people involved in the infertility diagnosis. If the research is limited on how heterosexual males going through infertility handle this, there is unfortunately even less research done when it comes to same-sex and/or LGBTQI couples or other constellations. This article focuses on people who identify as men who are going through infertility and sometimes refers to his partner being a woman, but the research and lessons in this article could be relevant to other genders and relationship makeups as well.